If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. The most important thing you need to understand about breakups caused by depression is that they dont happen overnight. We met when he transferred into my class and took a seat next to me.. I want back what we had. Im at a loss. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. But if he is unavailable to do so, it might be hard to not take it personally, or accept the breakup. Treat your partner with love, show him hope and remind yourself about his condition as an illness and that he does not have control over it. There are many types of depression, but we wont talk about all of them today. I asked for space but when we do talk for it to be loving. Theyre the people who have your best interests at heart and are more than happy to prove that by helping you when youre feeling down. Much love to anyone who is going through the same situation, well all walk through this together :). Im doing no contact only when I have to speak about the kids etc but he blows hot and cold and accuses me of being uncivil. She was always tired, feeling irritated, and i occupied a smaller and smaller space in her mind amongst all her problems and stressful and depressive thoughts, even though i tried my best to make her better and happier, but she felt more distant everyday, being colder and colder. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. They would have expressed how they felt and looked for solutions to work together despite their mental health illness. Your depressed boyfriend broke up with you? Work on losing hope and let him message you if he wants to. Im going through the something similar me and my ex girlfriend are both 19 she broke up with me because of depression and that she was emotionally drained she didnt realize she was depressed till about a few . The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Also, that he still wants me in his life, but can't be romantic with me. Other than genetic inheritance, an individuals experiences,environment and perceptions plays an important part as well. We barely spoke during this month, and she told me she wanted to break up this Tuesday. He is going to therapy. What Eckard means is that people depend on external sources for happiness and your ex will probably as well. When he finally decides to break up, understandably many feelings will arise. Breakups are always difficult, going through one can be a traumatic experience. But if at any time it seems like coping with this is being too hard for you, dont hesitate to look for help. I have no desires to truly speak of, as nothing I do is rewarding or satisfying. This is exactly how anhedonia feels. He did say, its me, not you. Later on though he said I was a wonderful person and he doesnt want to lose me. I regret i couldnt be there in real life for her when she needed me the most during the past months and due to COVID, i couldnt give her any physical love and reassure her, but i also know that i did everything i could, i was always there for her, and i made her the happiest girl on this world while i was her boyfriend. There is a lot on Quora about why does my DP push me away? too. Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed | by Karen Nimmo | On The Couch | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. But it is important to keep in mind that, while dealing with depression, especially if he is not under treatment, be it therapy or medication, he might be experiencing intense depressive symptoms, and that is what is controlling their actions and behaviors right now. It wasnt my first relashionship but it was my first long-distance relashionship, i was unsure back then how to handle one or if it was even possible to keep. Such people dont deserve your care and neither should you crave theirs. Weve been dating for 2 years and a few days ago he broke it off saying he needs to get mentally right and cant sustain a relationship. Financial problems and loss of job due to the pandemic. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. They prefer to be on their own because that way, they feel the safest. Did your boyfriend break up with you because of depression and youre wondering why he did that? Be respectful, genuine, and careful. By answering these questions, youll have a better understanding of whats going on inside your ex-boyfriends head. Recently, his mother called him up and was very upset that his dad wanted to finalize the divorce with his mother and ever since then he has been distant and all. In this post, well talk about what to do if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression. Part of me still hopes he will come back when he sorts himself out but part of feels I should cut my losses and move on. When we broke up he told me the break up was neither our faults, that it was our trauma and he just couldnt meet my needs, that all he did was hurt me and I deserved better than him. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. like he used to. Let me know if you want to connect and talk. I wrote him an extreme long message saying all this about how much I love him and also about how I reallt badly dont want this to be a breakup especially since we both love eachother SO much. Hope you are keeping well! Neurotransmitters like dopamine, GABA and Cytokine are considered responsible for anhedonia. I can be free and spend more time on things that make me feel good.. Show him the correct path towards recovery. The only difference is that depressed dumpers blame the breakup on their depression whereas normal dumpers dont. I also dated a guy for six months, had a crazy connection, then he broke it off because he was depressed and lost. Often, one partner may get so depressed he stops working, and that can lead to a cascade of other problems.. Everything started to go downhill starting January 2021. I told him a week ago that i accept that he needs to be alone to figure himself out and that all I can say is that "i love you and want to be with you." But i am so heartbroken. This can happen if they dealt with what was going in with them, and still have feelings for you. Hi, I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. They will do that to achieve their goals, which can be keeping the relationship as is or getting you to do something for them. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Home Relationships My boyfriend is depressed and broke up with me (+ Understanding what happens), As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. It can come from little white lies to more serious matters. More often than not, the stronger person eventually loses respect for the depressed person and thinks of him or her as a burden. But I know its not possible & it truly hurts. How did your stories develop since you posted here? Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relashionship for almost 3.5 years now. Hi, I have been in a (very) long distance relationship for about a year and a half. He decided that the best way to deal with smothering emotions was to get space from them and not deal with them at all. I just want him to be happy and I wish I could help him. His mother became ill which he had to take care of her and his own medical issues. All the best to all Depression Fallout sufferers. PsychReel do not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I am so stuck on thinking who he was just a short time ago and how he felt so lucky to have me to just withdrawing and wanting to be alone, completely. From the article above, the topic My depressed boyfriend broke up with me is discussed. I just dont know how to stop missing him and start to move on. Whatever he does or doesnt do, dont take it personally and try to avoid finding out what hes doing. When family abandons you: what to do next? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. It usually causes them to have a more negative vision of themselves, so they might feel like a burden to people, which can cause them to distance themselves. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. After the breakup he still asked if I was ok and I started opening up on my issues and told him I was also guilty of bottling up issues, was not in the right space to handle his sons situation better and isolated myself and slowly becoming a weight on him. He feels smothered by you and thinks he should stop feeling smothered before he can work on himself. I could see his life spinning out of control and he would say every time we talked his life is Fed. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), I Cheated On My Boyfriend And He Broke Up With Me, My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me And I Want Him Back. If there is no-one you feel you can talk to, write it down. It might be difficult to put yourself in your exs shoes, but think about it this way. Theyre forgetting to mention why they fell out of love and what kind of behavior or attitude made it hard for them to redevelop their romantic feelings. Ankylosing Spondylitis: Weve Got Your Back, Whats Next? But leaving a person when he or she is going through something as difficult as depression is a mystery beyond my comprehension. The first thing to do is to remember that not all relationships are perfect. Eventually, as the intensity of repressed emotions increases, a depressed person starts pushing people awayeven those close to him. And if you dont want to spend time together, why be in a relationship with the person? Shes going through a really really hard time and that affected how she felt about a lot of things in her life. She doesnt feel herself. Those suffering from high-functioning depression are often their own worst critics, and its difficult to turn that criticism off. Breakups Throwaway, because Gods knows I don't ever want to see this thread again after this week. There are a lot of stories here about the break up because of the depression (thank you so much to everyone for sharing) but does anyone have a bit more perspective on how these situations actually evolve? My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks agohe suffers from depression and anxiety. If hes acting differently now (lets say hes going out, partying, meeting new people), he most likely isnt depressed.