"Ah, yes," the Englishman nodded in understanding. He doesn’t even have time to pack, so he calls google_color_link = "0000FF"; Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The maid comes back to the phone. After quite a bit of interrogation, she admits that the wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman! “Yes! The maid answered the call, but was quite hesitant about putting his wife on the phone. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. Date: 1998/03/17 A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. “Yes,” she replies. She protests! } She protests! else document.write(unescape(l[i])); As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked, google_color_url = "008000"; Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes Ahoy, small craft. When the lawyer, who is white, walks into the store and asks, "what have you got against blacks..." when he is interrupted. Using his silver tongue, he finally convinces her to do it. That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans. said Bill. The origin of this lawyer joke in unknown, but if adultery is punishable by a shotgun death, it must take place in Texas. I want to be a Texas Chain Store Manager. “I threw them in the pool,” she responds. This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!! A lawyer who works in Texas gets a call about an emergency which requires him to immediately fly out of the state for a short period of time. Including Texas jokes for adults, dirty alexis jokes and clean oklahoma dad gags for kids. After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. Google Groups: no.vitser An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. > but is hesitant to put his wife on the phone. The maid answers the phone A lawyer who works in Texas gets a call about an emergency which requires him to immediately fly out of the state for a short period of time. "Thirty-five acres?" Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." Using his silver tongue, he finally persuaded her to do it. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.' "That's wonderful!" The lawyer questions her again, “What did you do with the bodies?’’ I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed." else document.write(unescape(l[i])); There is a brief pause from the lawyer. German-speaking population. google_ad_client = "ca-pub-3535799185159270"; "Good morning. The second says, I just like shooting cans. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. What did you sell him?" But the lawyer explained that under Texas law it is perfectly legal to kill google_color_text = "000000"; Trink das Wasser Where are you headed?" because if it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. google_ad_height = 600; Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you—we’re just fining you.” These work-friendly jokes … Take and shoot both of them. ", A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The second man responds with "I don't have to imagine, I do that every thanksgiving. “Yes! (Translated: "Glad to meet you! He asks her, “Did you say the pool?” Yes; the other version involves a businessman, the cook finding the man’s wife with the son of the gardner, killing them with a carving knife and throwing the pieces in the swimming pool. var l=new Array(); google_color_url = "008000"; google_ad_height = 600; "Well we have handguns, rifles, shotguns...". Because that's the highest rating it could get. One fine old day, Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." Jokes; Lawyer; Texas Lawyer. Eventually the oilman brags, "I can jump in my car and drive until sun down. One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his How much was the sale for?" Now the man is furious, and would rush right home, She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be. Subject: Could Jon Beaver be from Texas? Following is our collection of minnesota puns and ranch one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. She said that every morning she takes a shot of whiskey and a spoonful of gunpowder with her breakfast. "One." From: His boss is astounded. google_color_text = "000000"; Google Groups:alt.sex.stories “Uh, is this 555-8234?” The lawyer explains that under Texas law it is legal to kill your adulterous wife and her lover. } She died not long after this of natural causes. > but of course there is this emergency to take care of, so he if (l[i].substring(0, 1) == ' ') document.write("&#"+unescape(l[i].substring(1))+";"); There was a long pause. “Yes,” she replies. The lawyer is furious, and wants to rush right home, but of course there is this emergency he must take care of. Discarded as trash in 2006. "$79,237.64? "Yes," says the genie, "two miles high it stands and two miles deep." He has no time to pack, so he calls home to tell his wife he is going. Google Groups:alt.tasteless.jokes “Marie, put my wife on the phone,” said Mr. Smith. “Now go outside and throw the revolver into the pool.” Using his silver tongue, he finally convinces Second door to the right, says the bartender. “Isn’t this Murray Hill 8-8567?” “Yes,” she replied. google_ad_channel =""; The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" The Texan said 'don't worry, where I'm from we don't like them either'. Newsgroups: no.vitser The lawyer asks, “Did you kill them?” if (l[i].substring(0, 1) == ' ') document.write("&#"+unescape(l[i].substring(1))+";"); How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Texas????? //--> Have I made myself clear? I’m the Tom Clement in the 1985 post above. I'd never hit the edge of my claim!". Wow these drinks are big! The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' google_ad_width = 120; After quite a bit of interrogation, she admits that the wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman! “Did you say the Pool?” > tells the maid to go get the gun from his desk drawer, and kill He said it was the worst case of suicide he'd ever seen. The lawyer questioned her again, “What did you do with the bodies?” Perry further explained the similarities between the two by saying, They are both things I experimented with while in college and both resulted in my liver taking a pounding. After quite a bit of interrogation, she admitted that the wife was upstairs in bed with the mailman! Subject: The Texas Lawyer A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas. "Just one? “Good,” said the husband. What is the meaning of this? Texas jokes that are not only about austin but actually working missouri puns like When Trump borrows from his dad it s a small loan and Two rednecks are admiring their firearms. Any direction you go, you're leaving Texas. Newsgroups: net.jokes "Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my farm. The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?" From: “Anne Børstad” Subject: Re: An actual (funny evey) joke (Lawyer joke, actually). It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's." The maid answers the call, but is quite hesitant about putting his wife on the phone. The lawyer asks, “Did you kill them?” I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs..... The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Suburban."
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